In some situations it doesn’t matter how much you bend or how often you rephrase or adjust your approach, some people just won’t like it. Not necessarily because of the substance of what you are presenting or offering. I’d like to say that it’s because of the words utilized or the way information is presented. Nope sometimes it’s really simple, some folks just don’t care for you, and you are not their cup of tea. And guess what, that’s ok.
The last part is a really difficult thing for me to get my head around sometimes. I know we can often say ‘man whatever, I don’t care what so and so thinks.’ Well, I’m confessing a lot of times I do care and I realize after this week often times I’m caring a little bit too much.
Bad behavior is bad behavior, regardless of the reason.
I have a bad habit of looking for reasons aka excuses for other people’s bad behavior. And in all honesty I’m good at finding reasons for my own bad behavior too. I know in my head that people make choices in how they choose to speak and respond to others. And some people will choose to respond in rude and inconsiderate ways. But I too get to make a choice in how I respond when people come at me like they’ve lost their ever loving mind. And trust me some folks as of late seem to have lost all of the good sense the Lord gave them. I’m learning that while it is noble to turn the other cheek it is equally as noble to stand up for myself. It is appropriate to let others know what type of behavior is acceptable. And I can exercise my choice by how and when I establish and maintain appropriate boundaries.
I can choose not to internalize.
Now this piece of the puzzle I can’t say with full blown confidence but I’m working on it. Through some encouragement from my husband, family and friends they reminded me that who I am and what I stand for is not wrapped up in one interaction with someone I have never met in person. Most of us can take constructive criticism, however it’s something totally different when that “criticism” is sprinkled among personal attacks surrounding ones intelligence and capabilities. That my friends is hard to work through. I know that too often when people lash out it is often out of insecurity or learned behavior. The person levying the attack or tirade is likely experiencing something that I know nothing about. (Yikes, reason/excuse) But know this beloved (in my best Iyanla Vanzant voice), personal circumstances do not give one a pass for bad behavior.
We can choose to accept the statements as truth or we can remind ourselves of who we are. I had to remind myself that I do know what I’m doing and I’m not too dense to comprehend basic business principles and disciplines. Yes, ya’ll it got to that level!!
I can do something about it.
I don’t have to idly sit by and grin and bear foolishness. This is my life and I can choose to surround myself with positive people. And those who may not be positive or stuck in a rut I get to choose the level of interaction with them too. I understand that you can’t just cut off every rude nasty person because unfortunately we may work with them or in some cases live with themJ I’ll share with you some sound advice my grandma gave me. I consider her to be a wisdom expert, she has lived 90 years so I’d say that alone qualifies her. She tells me often “I decided a long time ago I was not going to allow someone else to steal my joy”. Now grandma is so sweet and diplomatic and most times so am I. However today I’m translating her advice into “Ya’ll can act like fools if you want to, but what you won’t do, is cause me to be someone I’m not. I choose to have joy.”
Have you ever found yourself faced with disagreeable grumpy people? What are some things you do to work around bad attitudes?